why having a dog is better than having a wife
為什麼有隻狗比有個老婆好?

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
你越晚回家, 它越高興見到你.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
狗會原諒你跟其它的狗玩.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
如果一隻狗是可愛的, 其它的狗並不會恨它.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
狗並不知道如果你叫它叫錯名字.

5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
狗的脾氣可以一整個月都一樣.

6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
狗喜歡你把很多東西散落一地.

7. A dog's parents never visit.
狗的父母從不會來拜訪.

8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
狗並不恨它們的身體.

9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
狗了解到你必須提高你的聲音才可以表達你的觀點.

10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
狗喜歡在房子外窺探而不是在你的皮夾子或桌上.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
狗很少活得比你久.

12. Dogs can't talk.
狗不會說話.

13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
狗喜歡在公共場所被人家賞玩.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a day
要出門時, 你不用等狗. 它們是 24 小時隨時可以跟你走.

15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
當你喝醉時, 狗會覺得很有趣.

16. Dogs like to go hunting.
狗喜歡去打獵.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
另一個男人很少會去偷你的狗.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
如果你帶另一隻狗回家, 你的狗會很高興的一起跟你和你帶回來的狗玩耍.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get anoth\
er dog?"
狗不會在半夜叫你起來並問, "如果我死了, 你會再找一隻狗嗎?"

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.
如果你假裝是盲人, 你的狗可以免費的跟你住在旅館.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
如果狗懷孕有小狗時, 你可以登廣告並把小狗送人.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a perver\
t...
狗可以讓你套個釘式的套環在脖子上, 而不會說你變態.

23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
狗不會阻止你買新車.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just think it\
's interesting.
如果狗在你身上聞到另一隻狗的味道, 它們不會生氣. 它們只是覺得很有趣.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
在車上時, 你的狗絕不會堅決的要求開暖氣.

26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
狗不會讓雜誌上的文章來告訴它們如何過生活.

27. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
狗喜歡坐在小貨車的後面.

28. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman-Marcus.
狗是禁止進入 Bloomingdales 或 Neiman-Marcus 百貨公司.

29. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
當狗離你而去時, 它不會拿走你一半的財產.
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Party of Five

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