原文
Imperfect Pet Owner Seeks Perfect Adopter
中文翻譯同步發表至PTT dog版
翻譯有誤請告知 要轉載文章翻譯請先取得同意
I wanted a pet, so I got one. But I am tired of taking care of it, and paying for it. I might even be moving, in which case I would have to pay a pet deposit or spend an extra 30 seconds planning how to take along my pet. Maybe I decided to have a baby or get a boyfriend (or girlfriend). Anyhow, I don't want my pet anymore. Oh wait, that sounds every bit as selfish as I am. I mean, I can't keep my pet. Yeah, that's it. Oh allergies-YES, I suddenly gotallergies. No one will question that.
我想養寵物, 所以我帶了一隻回家。但是我現在懶得照顧他，也不想花錢養他了。我可能要搬家，這樣我就要多付押金，或是要多花30秒來想想怎麼帶寵物搬家。也許我決定要生小孩、或是交男女朋友，反正我就是不想養了啦！
等等，這聽起來好像我很自私。我的意思是，我沒辦法繼續養下去了，因為、因為、嗯..因為我會過敏！我突然對寵物過敏！絕對不會有人質疑我的。
Now about my pet. I've had it since it was a kitten (or pup, or egg if reptilian) and now it's middle aged, the age NO ONE wants to adopt, butdidn't you see- I need someone to take care of it.
現在來談談我的寵物。我從他小的時候就開始養了，不過他現在到了沒有人想要領養的年紀，但是你看不懂嗎？我需要別人來幫我照顧他。
Anyhow, since this process will be very upsetting for my formerly preciouspet (and because I may feel an inkling of guilt) I want the adopter to give it a home where there are no other pets, so it doesn't have to share your affections (even though I've been ignoring it for months). Now let me tell you how sweet, lovable, and darling he/she is. Also, allow me to fail to mention that he/she has a urination issue when scared, or he/she eat sofas,etc.
總之，因為換環境會讓我的寶貝寵物不舒服（還有我感到有點內疚）所以我希望領養者家裡沒有別的寵物，這樣他就不用和別人分享你的愛（就算我已經好幾個月沒理他了）現在讓我來告訴你他有多可愛、親人、和善、人見人愛。就忘了他受驚嚇時會閃尿、會咬沙發之類的問題吧。
Oh, and I think you should pay a fee to show you're capable of buying catfood. And plus I spent money on it 8 years ago and heck I can get a few boxes of diapers for the baby with that cash.
噢對了，為了證明你有能力可以負擔他的飼料，我想你該付認養費。加上貼補一些我八年前買下他的錢。這些錢我可以拿去買一些嬰兒尿布。
Besides, everyone knows that you can tell a person who's taking your pet to be a test lab subject by whether or not they'll shell out $50. If my pet is purebred, I will likely try to charge you hundreds. Because I spend hundreds and this is a very valuable pet. I just don't want it anymore. But YOU should want it enough to help me recoup my original purchase price.
而且大家都知道，如果一個人付了五十塊美金的認養費，就表示他不會把你的寵物拿去做實驗；如果我的寵物是純種的，我還可能跟你收到上百美金的認養費。因為當初我花了幾百塊買他，所以他非常有價值。反正我就是不想養了，你應該願意貼補我當時買他的錢。
Now, I hope you'll take it right to the vet, because he/she is behind on shots. And was never spayed/neutered. And make sure it gets premium food andall the things it deserves, but I am too selfish to even continue to care for it. And remember, this is a commitment- you better not take it and then change your mind ever because only I can do that. Now that I dumped him/her on you, he/she is too traumatized to ever face that again.
我希望你領養之後馬上帶他去看獸醫，因為他該打預防針了，而且也還沒結紮。還有要餵他吃好的飼料和供給他生活必要的東西，我實在自私到沒辦法再養下去了！另外請記得你的承諾，你最好不要帶回去之後又反悔，因為只有我才有資格這樣做。我現在把他丟給你，已經對他心理造成很大的創傷了，他不能再承受第二次。
Last of all, I will now close by telling you that I need this person who takes over my responsibility to come along quickly, because otherwise I *may* have to take him/her to the pound. I probably won't, but that threat is sure to scare someone into hurrying up and taking over my responsibility.
最後，希望那個能接手我爛攤子的認養者快點出現，不然我"可能"要送他去收容所了。我應該是不會啦，只是嚇嚇你們，這樣接我爛攤子的才會早點出現。
Imperfect Pet Owner Seeks Perfect Adopter
中文翻譯同步發表至PTT dog版
翻譯有誤請告知 要轉載文章翻譯請先取得同意
I wanted a pet, so I got one. But I am tired of taking care of it, and paying for it. I might even be moving, in which case I would have to pay a pet deposit or spend an extra 30 seconds planning how to take along my pet. Maybe I decided to have a baby or get a boyfriend (or girlfriend). Anyhow, I don't want my pet anymore. Oh wait, that sounds every bit as selfish as I am. I mean, I can't keep my pet. Yeah, that's it. Oh allergies-YES, I suddenly gotallergies. No one will question that.
我想養寵物, 所以我帶了一隻回家。但是我現在懶得照顧他，也不想花錢養他了。我可能要搬家，這樣我就要多付押金，或是要多花30秒來想想怎麼帶寵物搬家。也許我決定要生小孩、或是交男女朋友，反正我就是不想養了啦！
等等，這聽起來好像我很自私。我的意思是，我沒辦法繼續養下去了，因為、因為、嗯..因為我會過敏！我突然對寵物過敏！絕對不會有人質疑我的。
Now about my pet. I've had it since it was a kitten (or pup, or egg if reptilian) and now it's middle aged, the age NO ONE wants to adopt, butdidn't you see- I need someone to take care of it.
現在來談談我的寵物。我從他小的時候就開始養了，不過他現在到了沒有人想要領養的年紀，但是你看不懂嗎？我需要別人來幫我照顧他。
Anyhow, since this process will be very upsetting for my formerly preciouspet (and because I may feel an inkling of guilt) I want the adopter to give it a home where there are no other pets, so it doesn't have to share your affections (even though I've been ignoring it for months). Now let me tell you how sweet, lovable, and darling he/she is. Also, allow me to fail to mention that he/she has a urination issue when scared, or he/she eat sofas,etc.
總之，因為換環境會讓我的寶貝寵物不舒服（還有我感到有點內疚）所以我希望領養者家裡沒有別的寵物，這樣他就不用和別人分享你的愛（就算我已經好幾個月沒理他了）現在讓我來告訴你他有多可愛、親人、和善、人見人愛。就忘了他受驚嚇時會閃尿、會咬沙發之類的問題吧。
Oh, and I think you should pay a fee to show you're capable of buying catfood. And plus I spent money on it 8 years ago and heck I can get a few boxes of diapers for the baby with that cash.
噢對了，為了證明你有能力可以負擔他的飼料，我想你該付認養費。加上貼補一些我八年前買下他的錢。這些錢我可以拿去買一些嬰兒尿布。
Besides, everyone knows that you can tell a person who's taking your pet to be a test lab subject by whether or not they'll shell out $50. If my pet is purebred, I will likely try to charge you hundreds. Because I spend hundreds and this is a very valuable pet. I just don't want it anymore. But YOU should want it enough to help me recoup my original purchase price.
而且大家都知道，如果一個人付了五十塊美金的認養費，就表示他不會把你的寵物拿去做實驗；如果我的寵物是純種的，我還可能跟你收到上百美金的認養費。因為當初我花了幾百塊買他，所以他非常有價值。反正我就是不想養了，你應該願意貼補我當時買他的錢。
Now, I hope you'll take it right to the vet, because he/she is behind on shots. And was never spayed/neutered. And make sure it gets premium food andall the things it deserves, but I am too selfish to even continue to care for it. And remember, this is a commitment- you better not take it and then change your mind ever because only I can do that. Now that I dumped him/her on you, he/she is too traumatized to ever face that again.
我希望你領養之後馬上帶他去看獸醫，因為他該打預防針了，而且也還沒結紮。還有要餵他吃好的飼料和供給他生活必要的東西，我實在自私到沒辦法再養下去了！另外請記得你的承諾，你最好不要帶回去之後又反悔，因為只有我才有資格這樣做。我現在把他丟給你，已經對他心理造成很大的創傷了，他不能再承受第二次。
Last of all, I will now close by telling you that I need this person who takes over my responsibility to come along quickly, because otherwise I *may* have to take him/her to the pound. I probably won't, but that threat is sure to scare someone into hurrying up and taking over my responsibility.
最後，希望那個能接手我爛攤子的認養者快點出現，不然我"可能"要送他去收容所了。我應該是不會啦，只是嚇嚇你們，這樣接我爛攤子的才會早點出現。
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